I Was the Easter Bunny’s Boss the Day Things Went Very Wrong

Once upon a time, I was in charge of marketing for shopping centers. What does that mean? Well if you asked my 4 year old daughter at the time, she’d say I worked in the bathroom at the mall. She was partly right since my office was next to the food court restrooms and I … Read more

What Are You Afraid Of?

If someone ever asks me that question, I follow it up with an inquiry of my own. How much time do you have? You see there’s a master list of things I’m afraid of with subcategories, footnotes and addendums. You have the animal category that includes my #1 arch nemesis – s-n-*-k-e-s -, a word … Read more

A Lipstick Stained Stress Ball in the Church Ladies Room

The day had come. It was time. I had prepared. I had made notes. I had planned the entire week around this. I was ready – or so I thought. Heck, who was I kidding? I was not ready. Not ready at all. In fact, I was so nervous that I nearly brushed my teeth … Read more

Dogs? Nope. Well, Maybe on Tuesdays.

You know those crazy questions people ask as icebreakers? Things like “what’s your second favorite movie” or “ if you could be a vegetable, which one would you be”… Yep, those questions. I never have good answers to any of them so they frustrate me. But there’s one question that if asked my answer will … Read more

I Fulfilled My Turkey Quest

Thanksgiving 2020 is one for the Thomas family record books. The fair Thaddeus Von Turkey was delightful and we slayed the potatoes, vegetables, stuffing and gravy. I’m sure there will be a Hallmark movie made about it. I mean after all, I conquered the beast, saved the family from sheer starvation, and secured my southern … Read more

If You Ever See Me Running

It’s pretty well known that I am not athletic nor do I enjoy anything remotely resembling exercise. In fact I’m about to tell you a story that not one of my friends would ever believe actually happened. I would go so far as to say that if you were to bet any one of them … Read more

When Your Kid Has a Car Accident…

Time stopped. I saw the phone ringing. I knew where he was heading. And I knew without hearing a word what had happened. My son had gotten in an accident. Call it a mother’s intuition, but I didn’t have to hear a word to know that something was wrong. As I heard the details, everything … Read more

The Day I Had a Root Canal

I know root canals are no walk in the park for anyone. But for me, having a root canal was like a walk through hell itself. That is, until I discovered a little dental secret. I went in for my root canal one Friday morning. I had prepared myself physically and mentally for this. I was … Read more

What’s in the Shadows?

It’s dark as pitch at 5:30 a.m. I know this because I walk my neighborhood every morning before work (ok, ok most mornings). Oh sure I carry a flashlight, but it does very little to dispel the darkness. Who knows what’s lurking in those shadows? As I step out my front door, my surveillance tactics are … Read more

Where Does Your Help Come From?

I’m not proud of the fact that when walking into the garage one night, I shoved my daughter into the path of an evil, demonic critter while running for my life. There’s one sure-fire way to send me into sheer terror and everyone close to me knows not to even say the word. In fact in our home, we spell … Read more