What Are You Afraid Of?

If someone ever asks me that question, I follow it up with an inquiry of my own. How much time do you have? You see there’s a master list of things I’m afraid of with subcategories, footnotes and addendums. You have the animal category that includes my #1 arch nemesis – s-n-*-k-e-s -, a word […]

A Lipstick Stained Stress Ball in the Church Ladies Room

The day had come. It was time. I had prepared. I had made notes. I had planned the entire week around this. I was ready – or so I thought. Heck, who was I kidding? I was not ready. Not ready at all. In fact, I was so nervous that I nearly brushed my teeth […]

Dogs? Nope. Well, Maybe on Tuesdays.

You know those crazy questions people ask as icebreakers? Things like “what’s your second favorite movie” or “ if you could be a vegetable, which one would you be”… Yep, those questions. I never have good answers to any of them so they frustrate me. But there’s one question that if asked my answer will […]

I Fulfilled My Turkey Quest

Thanksgiving 2020 is one for the Thomas family record books. The fair Thaddeus Von Turkey was delightful and we slayed the potatoes, vegetables, stuffing and gravy. I’m sure there will be a Hallmark movie made about it. I mean after all, I conquered the beast, saved the family from sheer starvation, and secured my southern […]

If You Ever See Me Running

It’s pretty well known that I am not athletic nor do I enjoy anything remotely resembling exercise. In fact I’m about to tell you a story that not one of my friends would ever believe actually happened. I would go so far as to say that if you were to bet any one of them […]

When Your Kid Has a Car Accident…

Time stopped. I saw the phone ringing. I knew where he was heading. And I knew without hearing a word what had happened. My son had gotten in an accident. Call it a mother’s intuition, but I didn’t have to hear a word to know that something was wrong. As I heard the details, everything […]

The Day I Had a Root Canal

I know root canals are no walk in the park for anyone. But for me, having a root canal was like a walk through hell itself. That is, until I discovered a little dental secret. I went in for my root canal one Friday morning. I had prepared myself physically and mentally for this. I was […]

What’s in the Shadows?

It’s dark as pitch at 5:30 a.m. I know this because I walk my neighborhood every morning before work (ok, ok most mornings). Oh sure I carry a flashlight, but it does very little to dispel the darkness. Who knows what’s lurking in those shadows? As I step out my front door, my surveillance tactics are […]

Where Does Your Help Come From?

I’m not proud of the fact that when walking into the garage one night, I shoved my daughter into the path of an evil, demonic critter while running for my life. There’s one sure-fire way to send me into sheer terror and everyone close to me knows not to even say the word. In fact in our home, we spell […]

A Fire, the Dog and a Basket of Junk Mail

You always hear people talking about what items they would grab from their home if there was ever a fire. With only minutes to get out of your house losing everything you own, what would you save? I’ve pondered this question numerous times over the years and assuming the family was all safe, I figured […]