Fighting Coyotes with a Ceiling Fan Duster

Ever play that game where you’re asked to determine which item in a group of things doesn’t belong? Sometimes I think my life is one big game like that. I certainly felt that way the other night at 9:54 pm when the evening included coyotes, a missing Amazon package and a ceiling fan duster.

It started with a text from my next door neighbor Heidi (not to be confused with our former yorkie by the same name). 

“Did you hear that there were two coyotes in your backyard at 6am this morning?” 

Um… nope. Are you kidding me right now? You may think we live in the country surrounded by wildlife. We do not. We live on a corner lot in a large, popular neighborhood. Never would I have expected to see a coyote in the backyard. Nonetheless, that morning, just minutes after we’d taken Beamer (our current puppy) outside to do his business, there had been two! 

In shock, I began formulating a plan for safely taking Beamer out for his last trip of the night. Hubby Eric had already gone to bed so I was on my own. Just me, my 6lb puppy and whatever defensive device I could muster were going to venture out into the dark ferocious night. That’s when I got the text from my across the street neighbor, Melissa. It was a busy evening.

“Hey. We found your missing Amazon package. You want to walk over to get it tonight?”

So now, I had two missions to accomplish in the coyote infested wilderness that was my street. How was I going to protect myself, my puppy and complete the two tasks before me? I headed to the pantry. No, not for a snack, but for the longest pole-like item I could grab on short notice. Apparently that was the ceiling fan duster.

So there I went, into the night, armed with a green high duster boasting remnants of fuzz from its last use. Let’s do this, I said out loud to absolutely no one and out the front door I went. I held my weapon poised to defend us against the vicious villains as I drug Beamer around the front yard. I feel certain that he mastered the run and pee as I frantically hurried him along. Across the street, my neighbor stepped out with my missing package in hand. She stopped in her tracks when she saw me wielding my cleaning apparatus in the moonlight.

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Listen, it was all I had, I explained. I’ve never fought coyotes before. 

Living across from me for the past nine years, she has now perfected her “bless your heart” look.

You know that saying, “Don’t ever bring a knife to a gunfight?” I’m pretty sure I was the full embodiment of that phrase as I prepared to battle coyotes with a ceiling fan duster. In my defense, it was not exactly on the day’s list of things to anticipate. Sometimes we face battles and bring the wrong weapon. We try to fight with whatever we find lying around or stored in the back of our mind.

Girl, you have the most powerful weapon on earth. Just don’t forget and grab the ceiling fan duster instead. 

In Ephesians 6, Paul instructs us to put on the whole armor of God including the sword of the spirit so that we may stand firm against the devil’s schemes. A sword is quite a formidable weapon as it is both an offensive and defensive tool. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, He fought satan with the Word and satan was no match for it (Matthew 4).  If we seek to understand His Word, we will be prepared for the difficult situations we face in our daily lives. We will also be able to defend what we believe as we use God’s Word to point back to Him. However without knowledge of God’s Word, we will struggle to fight our enemy. So don’t get caught holding a ceiling fan duster to deal with the coyotes in your life. Prepare for the battles ahead. Know the weapon you have and know how to use it. Grab that sword!

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12